Sleepless Nights

For the past two nights I have had serious trouble going to sleep. Last night I couldn’t stop thinking about what I would do if an earthquake happened here. Obviously, the earthquake that happened in Sichuan a couple weeks ago is the reason for these thoughts. The worst image that I have came from a person’s description of a newspaper article that he read. He said they found smothered-to-death small children under the ruble with their fingernails gone – a result of scratching at the ruble to try to free themselves. Even further in my own thought process as I unsuccessfully tried to sleep was imagining my little Anna in that situation. It brings tears to my eyes just imagining it. To actually have that happen to her, or Jacquelyn, or anyone else that I know, would just be devastating.

It is interesting the barriers that we create for ourselves. I have built a wall just high enough to shield myself from thinking too hard about the awful effects of the earthquake, but, yet, I have kept the wall just low enough that I can see over it. It truly sucks what happened to those people. To think about it in the slightest truly breaks my heart. I don’t want to think about it. But last night, I couldn’t stop.

In the days following the earthquake I heard many people pray that God would use this event to bring people to Him. This is also my prayer. However, in the back of my head I really struggle with all the suffering that happened…and continues to happen to those people. Of course God is just and whatever He uses to demonstrate His power…or whatever He’s doing…is certainly up to Him.

80,000 people are expected to have died as a result of the earthquake…women, children, men…it makes no difference. Wow. Why are people saying, “Lord, Your will be done.”? Because there is nothing else to say. With a broken heart I also cry out, Lord, Your will be done…

Are Democrats the Christian's Antithesis?

As a conservative Christian, I find myself trapped when it comes to politics. Conservative Christians typically vote republican. In my opinion, it mainly comes down to two reasons – abortion and same-sex marriage rights. Once a conservative Christian finds where a candidate stands on these two issues, it’s all over. There’s no need to hear the rest of the candidate’s platform. Guns, foreign policy, economy, Iraq – they are all moot points. This frustrates me to no end.

Now, before you go reading into what I’m saying, please know this, pro-life and anti-same-sex marriage are indeed huge issues. There’s no way around it. I cannot, in good conscience and as a Christian, support someone who favors those things. I just can’t. The Bible speaks pretty clearly to these two issues and to vote someone in who supports them seems, as one person put it, the antithesis to what Christians are about. And I agree.

Despite this, though, I would love to be able to objectively and critically evaluate the other issues. Do we criticize and bash anything and everything a democratic president or candidate does simply because of where s/he stands on the above mentioned issues? For example, would conservative Christians be so adamant about the right to bear arms if all things else were equal*? Would conservative Christians support or oppose certain immigration policies, assuming all candidates were pro-life and anti-gay marriage? Would former president Clinton be seen as the evil villain of American conservative Christianity? Could conservative Christians finally be able to admit that Mr. Clinton actually did some good for America?

Are we settling for what we can get? Are we simply limited by our choices? Have we thrown the baby out with the bathwater? Maybe, just maybe, not everything a democrat stands for is a Christian’s antithesis.

As I see it, most conservative Christians will be forced to vote for McCain simply because he is more pro-life and more anti-gay marriage than his counterparts. As a conservative Christian, do I really have any other choice?

Honest questions. I welcome your comments.

*I am speaking of the general population of conservative Christians. Obviously, conservative Christian NRA members will undoubtedly feel adamant about it regardless.

Earthquake

Thanks so much to everyone who was concerned about us with the recent earthquake. We are about 1,000 miles north-east of where the earthquake took place and did not feel any tremors. People as far away as Beijing, about 800 miles away, felt it though, so it certainly was a big one.

One of our company’s schools is located very near where the earthquake happened and was very fortunate to report there were no injuries or damage to the school building.

Our school is looking to somehow get involved with the rescue efforts – perhaps by monetary donation…

Thanks again for you concerns

1, 2, 3 . . .

The Storm

by Jacquelyn Carman

As we were taking our evening walk the wind was blowing pretty strong causing rather large waves to crash up against the rocks. As I watched I was thinking, this is exactly how I have felt the past few days. Waves tossing me this way and that . . . how can I with stand all the turmoil. Then words from the song "Beautiful Lord" by Leeland came to my mind.

When the storm is raging all around me
You are the peace that calms
My troubled sea
And the cares of this world
Darken my day
You are the light that shines
And shows me the way
Oh, the beauty of Your majesty
On the cross You showed Your love for me!

Beautiful Lord
Awesome and mighty
I’m captured by this love I see
Beautiful Lord
Tender and holy
Your mercy brings me to my knees
It’s Your mercy that has made me free
Beautiful Lord

When my sin is all that I can see
Your grace remains the shelter that I seek
And when my weakness is all I can give
Your gentle Spirit gives me strength again
And oh, the beauty of Your majesty
On the cross You showed Your love for me

And I am lifted by Your love to sing!
It’s Your mercy that has made me free!

You’re beautiful, my Lord
You’re beautiful, my Lord

Spring is coming . . .

The weather is turning from cold to warm and sunny. Last weekend it was cold enough that we had to wear our winter hats, coats and gloves. It was cold, wet and damp. I was getting depressed fearing that the warm weather would never come. Today, to my great pleasure, it was warm enough I didn't even need a coat. The wind is still blowing pretty strong but it is not bitter cold any more. Anna & I went to beach today and were able to enjoying the shinning sun and the blue sky. Soon the flowers will begin to bloom!!

Anna Mae Getting Ready for Night Night

Anna's Birthday Party

I had planned a birthday party for Anna on her birthday and a bunch of her friends were going to come. Unfortunately we had to cancel it right before because we had a meeting we had to go to at the school. I had mixed feelings about this . . . part of me didn't really care because she is only two and doesn't really know and probably won't even enjoy a party. When ever she gets together with other kids she just hangs around us and doesn't even interact with the other kids. The other part of me really felt that I should make some deal about her birthday, try and make her feel special and she would probably remember and might enjoy it even if she hung around my side the whole time.

There were not too many kids that could come due to sickness or such short notice but we had a good time with just four other kids. It turned out all right but was not really a big happen'en party. I made cupcakes for the kids and we all sang "Happy Birthday" and Anna did a good job blowing the candles out. I think it was a good first birthday party experience. I think Anna's favorite part was the Dora Explorer table cloth.

Joy Like A Child

When was the last time that you got up on some one's feet and "flew"? Or just went outside and started laughing at a dog or a bird? How about finding the joy in sliding down a slide or racing someone? It probably has been a long time for most of us. (probably because we are too big to be able to do any of those things)

Sometimes we can be dragged down by all the things in our lives . . . bills, appointments, sickness . . . . The Book tells us to have fth like a child, why not find joy like a child. "Rejoice in Him always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" It also says to find joy in every circumstance as you face trails of many kinds.

As many things seem to go wrong in my life I look at this happy face and listen to her sweet silly laugh and I say . . . "I want that." I can have that, we all can have that. Find the joy in small silly things, enjoy the beautiful creation, laugh and smile together. Be like a child and have great joy!
"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit drys up the bones."

On Having a Terrible Two

I can't believe that two years ago right now I was having our little girl. It feels like yesterday and yet it feels so long ago. I'm remembering the car ride with our boss GV trying to distract me from the pain by telling stories (but really all he was accomplishing was distracting Jeremy from helping me breath through the contractions). Looking back I laugh realizing how close we were to having Anna right there in the van - boy am I thankful that didn't happen.

Now we have a beautiful 2 year old daughter who has brought us so much joy and laughter. She is such a delight. But I can really tell that she is two now. It kinda feels like it happened over night but we really do have a 2 year old.

There are many things about a 2 year old that can give me a headache . . . like the tantrums, wanting to do everything by herself, the tantrums, getting into everything, the tantrums, learning how to stall going to bed and trying to get her own way (I think that is another way of saying . . . tantrums).

But there are many good things about having a 2 year old . . . she can tell me stories, she responds when talked to, her attention span has increased so we can do things for a longer period of time, her smiles, her laughs (oh they just melt my heart), being silly, make up talk and songs (I could listen to her for hours) and oh so many more things. She is really more of her own person now than ever before.

Now that she interacts with me more it makes our days a lot more interesting.
Yes having a two year old can be a headache but it is soo worth every pain I have felt just to see that beautiful smile!

~Happy Birthday Anna Mae~

Speaking of Clams...A Crab!

Take a look at what we found the last time we had clams! -A crab. How cool is that?

Wo ai ni!

Anna wanted to thank her grandmothers for all the wonderful things they bought her. She is sending you both a message from across the world . . . "wo AI NI!!" (pronounced "whoa I knee") . . . like her shirt says "I love you!!"
We miss you all!!!

I finally got my snow!

Monday morning I wake up to the beautiful sight of snow falling from the sky!! I thought what a beautiful way to start the week. Mondays can be so hard to get out of bed but not this Monday. I was so excited I could not get outside fast enough.

Anna really seemed to enjoy our time outside except for being cold.

Anna got to do her first snow angel. She really enjoyed doing it until she tried to get up by herself and kept getting snow in her face from her gloves. It was really funny because the more she tried to wipe it off the more she kept putting on because it was stuck to her glove. (Am I a terrible mother for thinking my daughters agony was funny?) Anna's favorite part of playing in the snow was playing with another little girls sand toys. She loved filling up the bucket with snow, dumping it out and then "cutting" it with a shovel.

This next section is inappropriate for children, please turn your eyes . . .

People wonder how bad the smoking is in China - see even the snowmen smoke

REALLY Snow @ the Beach

Now I can say that I have really seen snow on the beach. Anna looked at it and really wanted to go down and play. I thought that cold wet sandy snow did not sound like fun at all. So instead we splashed in the slushy puddles and just looked at the snowy beach.

Olympics coming to Qingdao

The day we arrived home from our trip to the states our helper told us that the Olympic center was open to the public. So after Anna laid down for a nap we took a nice walk along the beach and saw where the Olympic sailing will be held this summer. It is very simple but pretty. It has a very nice view of Qingdao's skyline. Walking around I could only imagine what it is going to be like this summer, very crowded with no where to move except into the ocean.

We were not too sure what these buildings are for but we each had our guess. We are guessing that the one in the air is for judges or cameramen. The one on the ground I think is like a lobby for the contestants. But whatever they are for I thought they looked pretty cool. Jeremy thinks they look old and retro and should have come up with a better design.



But it is kinda cool that we live so close (about a 5 minute walk). In the following blog I took some pictures of where our house is compared to the sailing center.

Our Home by the Olympics

In these two pictures I am standing at the Olympic center where the sailing will occur here in Qingdao. In the top picture you can see a building on the left that Jeremy and I guessed would be for the judges. If you look far to the right you see a bunch of apartment buildings with red roofs. That is the complex where most of our staff lives. We don't live there but we live literally right behind those buildings. (There buildings are taller than ours so you can't see them =( )

You can see now how close we are to where the Olympics will be held.

Kid's Kingdom

Every Thursday my mother & father babysit for my brother's three children. This past Thursday my sister from PA was also in town to visit, so we had 6 kids running around the house. To give the kids something to do other than drive the adults crazy and tear down the house, we took them to a near by play yard.

The place was really pretty nice (but coming from China I think that I would think anything America has is pretty nice). The kids enjoyed jumping into the ball pits (yes, there was more than one).

Being the most mischievous and adventuresome, my sister's son was willing to do anything and everything. I think he was trying to find the one thing that he was not supposed to be doing.

The moms weren't too sure about a sandbox inside, but all the kids enjoyed it for awhile.

All the kids really enjoyed themselves and did not want to leave. But of all the kids, can you guess who had the most fun? My one-year-old nephew!

Princess Belle

We arrived in America and started right away reuniting with cousins. Can you guess who was more excited to see the other? It surely wasn't Anna.

Anna's cousins were so excited to have someone new to play with. However, Anna was a little unsure about her new playmates who did not have any concept of personal space.

The cousins wanted to shared their favorite game, dress up. They picked out the Belle outfit for Anna. After a little bit of convincing, Anna put the dress on and then the other girls picked out their own dresses.

The older cousin said she wanted to be like Anna and be Princess Belle. The younger asked me help her put her "Stinker Bell" outfit on. I said that I would help as long as she didn't stink as well.

Snow @ the Beach

It snowed the Friday before Anna & I left for America. I was so excited to have my daughter play in the snow. Unfortunately, the ground was not cold enough for the snow to accumulate. I was sad that the snow did not stick but it looked really beautiful all day as it was snowing. I was a little bit jealous to find out that our friends who live 45 minutes inland had 3 inches of snow and were able to build a snowman. Oh well, we had fun on our little walk in the snow. I'm hoping it will snow while we are in the States!

Clammy Hands

Question: (Jeremy...rhetorically) "What child likes clams?"

Answer: (Our Chinese helper...unimpressed) "Any child who grows up in Qingdao"...duh.